TCS Staff Squad Out-Gun Alumni 40-28 to Even Series at Two Wins Each 

Sports Illustrated Exclusive. February 6, 2007. In a game framed with controversy, a determined staff squad defeated the "Young Guns" to cap off Homecoming festivities. Despite the verbal fireworks leading into the event, participants confined their action to the court. Powered by the class of 06, the alumni jumped out to a halftime lead. But as the second half wore on, experience proved more powerful than youth. Coach Cutchin countered by unleashing wave after wave of substitutes. "I hoped that the mass substitutions would help keep our legs fresh, while putting severe pressure on the staff." The staff countered with big second half efforts from Ivan Plastiak and Allen McAdams who pulled down big boards while keeping the intensity at the defensive end. Suroy Henderson also provided flash and pizzazz that wowed the spectators.

The game did not unfold without controversy, however. Prior to the tip-off, Coach Cutchin was viewed handing officials cash money as he greeted them. In a post game interview, Lyle laughed off charges of attempted bribery. "My actions were intended to establish the credibility of the officials. After all, even with the cash bribe, the staff won, and calls were still missed to our detriment. It was all in fun, and my reputation speaks for itself." An elated Coach Briggs begged to differ. In an exclusive interview with AJC reporters Briggs noted, "His reputation? Well, yes, that does speak for itself. Now the world can safely add attempted bribery to backstabbing, treason and arrogance to his list of crimes."

In a related event, alumni standout TJ "Foul a Minute" Macy, admitted that a "calendar mix up," and not "fear of the staff" accounted for his conspicuous absence from the event. Coach Cutchin expressed ". . .deep dismay" at Macys absence, while noting that ". . .his physical play will be the difference maker in next years rubber match." 

 

   

 

Breaking News...Official Resigns over Controversial Remarks

ESPN SportsCenter. Thursday, February 1, 2007. Breaking News.More Controversy at The Cottage School! The upcoming rematch of the Feb. 3 TCS Alumni vs. Staff basketball game unraveled further today when Referee Kevin Donnelly stepped down as lead official for the game. Citing allegations of favoritism and game fixing against the officials by Staff Coach Richie "Bill Russell" Briggs, Donnelly decided that the best action would be to remove himself from officiating. Donnelly was unavailable for comment, but fellow official Ryan Burdett was not short on words. "Its a shame that this controversy has resulted in one of the top officials in our profession being forced from a banner game due to insinuations and allegations. But, who can blame him? The allegations being made are completely false and even slanderous. We were going to press charges but after talking to our Chief Legal Council, we decided to let our actions on the court speak for themselves. We love this game of basketball and would hate to make this game even more controversial than it already appears to be. I assure the TCS alumni, staff, and fans that I will not be forced from officiating this game. It would take more then a few cries and whining from a disgruntled coach or players to get rid of me." When asked if Burdett plans on replacing Donnelly, he answered, "I've already been in touch with our governing body and hope to name a back-up official within the next 24 hours." When further questioned, Burdett stated that he did not think that an apology would persuade Donnelly to reconsider his decision to forego the match.

Referees Confirmed for Alumni/Staff Match

United Press International - In a press release yesterday, the Cottage School Athletic Department revealed the identity of the officials for the Alumni-Staff game. Ryan Burdett and Kevin Donnelly of the GHSA will don the zebra stripes for the second consecutive year. In an earlier statement AD Lyle Cutchin stated that "Burdett's integrity remains unchallenged. I cannot think of a better team to work the floor."

Staff Coach Richie "Bill Russell" Briggs reacted less than enthusiastically, "Sure, we will give the Alum two more players. Why not? We played 7 on 5 last year. This time we will be more prepared."

Neither Referee Burdett nor Donnelly had any comments.

Cutchin Press Conference Declares "It's War Now!"

UPI, AP, NY Times. Thurs. Jan. 25. In response to reporters questions at the conclusion of the Holy Spirit/TCS contest, JV Alumni Coach Lyle Cutchin reacted to Richie Briggs well publicized comments. "At times I feel like I am listening to a broken record," stammered a clearly annoyed Coach Cutchin. "From the outset, I promised the Board, the Administration, the athletes and the parents that our athletic program would remain clean, above board and operate within the limits of the law. Unfortunately not all members of my coaching staff appear to support this philosophy. Ever since Briggs blew into town, his private conversation has been punctuated with an I win, you lose, win at all cost tone that I find most unbecoming. For a while I chalked it up to natural enthusiasm, but his persistent pointed public comments reveal a deep seated boastfulness." When pressed as to what, if any, action the Cottage School should take against Briggs, Coach Cutchin turned oddly reticent. "Look, I am not going to get into personnel decisions at a press conference, but I believe the best way to curb and to extinguish this boisterous coach will be for the alumni to impose a harsh shellacking on Briggs and his Pirates." Later comments cryptically pointed to a Saturday Night Surprise for the staff team. "Yeah," a smiling Cutchin nodded "I have a trump up my sleeve. You might call it a New Years surprise for Briggs and company, just watch and learn." With that TCS security hustled Coach Cutchin and his JV squad through the gym to their bus.

Briggs Issues Denial of "Illegal Practice Charges"

Sports Center. Wed. Jan. 24. In regards to the allegations from Cougar head coach, Lyle the trader-Pirate Cutchin, Staff Coach Richie :Bill Russell" Briggs laughed, "Practice, were talkn about practice! Practice, mannn, were talkn about practice! Sounds like the Alum are little scared of a beat down, so they hired an insider to investigate any possible (made up) allegations. Illegal practice, please! Maybe you should have an illegal practice as an alum; we all know you are going to need one." Briggs further stated. "I guarantee a victory! Call me Joe Namath, but we got this in the books. We have a secret weapon that nobody has a clue about. When he/she plays you will wish you recruited him/her first. Lyle, quit your whining. Losers make excuses, winners make things happen."

Controversy Erupts over Briggs' Scheduling "Illegal Staff Practice"

Associated Press, United Press International, FoxSports.com Tues. Jan. 23. In a stunning turn of events, TCS alumni coach Lyle Cutchin officially notified the United States Amateur Basketball Association of a potentially illegal practice sanctioned by TCS faculty coach Richie Briggs. Citing an internal e-mail, in which Coach Briggs purportedly directs the staff to scrimmage against the Varsity Men's team, Coach Cutchin asked the USABA governing body to launch a formal investigation. In a Tuesday morning press conference Cutchin elaborated that, "USABA standards remain clear and unambiguous on this matter. Adult, staff and faculty teams are denied 'practices sessions, scrimmages or other interactions' with already constituted high school squads during the regular season." In response to further questioning Cutchin also alluded to the unfair nature of the "illegal practice." "Look, this game should be about fellowship and the pure love of basketball. The alumni players come from different jobs, schools and geographic areas. Therefore the alum will not have benefit of an 'illegal practice.'" In response to accusations that the inquiry was only a result of 'sour grapes' on the part of alumni, the alumni coach offered a thundering denunciation. "Alumni players put it on the line last year, playing a clean, fair game in the spirit of camaraderie with their teachers. For their efforts they have been repaid by a year of crying and excuses. Now to top it off Coach Briggs brings in this win-at-all-cost-AAU mindset that has no place at the TCS, or any other respectable program!"

Cutchin Counters with Signing of TJ "Foul a Minute" Macy after Presidential Reprieve  

Associated Press. Wed., January 17. Alumni Coach Lyle Cutchin wasted no time in leveling the playing field by luring Cougar standout TJ Macy '02 out of retirement for a return to the hardwood Feb. 3. In accepting the assignment from Cutchin, Macy stated, "I have decided to return as your oldest and most powerful weapon against the staff.  It is true that the NBA and other basketball associations did ban "Foul a minute Macy" from playing basketball again, due to excessive injuries to the opposing team.  However, they all agreed that a couple broken bones may just be what the staff team needs. We all know that after our victorious win last year the staff has been talking nothing but trash since.  So I got a letter from President Bush saying that he believes I can participate in making The Cottage School a free and self governed society...or at least show them what basketball is all about.  You can quote me when I say "The student always becomes the Teacher!". Make sure the staff knows no canes or walkers will be aloud during the game."

While admitting that Macy's aggressive style of play is "an acquired taste," Cutchin issued this statement. "I find that often people who find themselves to be the receiving end of Macy's blocking out and hand-checking get a little upset, but on the whole, I found his defense to be within the bounds of Georgia State Wrestling regulations. It will be an honor to serve as his coach." 

When asked about former alumni, teammate, and current TCS Staff team member Rob Burdett's signing last week by staff Coach Richie Briggs, Macy commented, "As far as Rob is concerned we alumni consider him nothing more than a traitor!  After we show the Staff the meaning of basketball, we will hang Rob by his shorts on the goal for all to see the traitor he is!"


Briggs Stuns Alumni by Signing Free Agent Burdett to the Staff Pirates Squad

SportsCenter, Thursday, January 11. In a move that stunned alumni and staff alike, Pirates Player Coach Richie "Bill Russell" Briggs snagged TCS Alumni and Staff Member Rob Burdett '04 to play for the staff team in the upcoming Re-Match. When asked to comment, Coach Briggs states, "Mikasa, Youkasa! What comes around goes around. Lyle Cutchin did it first by leaving us to coach the Alum. That's what they get. The basketball program and AD now have extreme tension all over the A building because of losing Lyle "The Celtic" Cutchin. How can a man I trusted so much stab me in the back like that? Stealing Rob was not only for much needed skill, but for REVENGE!!"

Coach Cutchins was quick to respond, "Ridiculous! First "the interloper" [Briggs] comes in from away and rolls his eyes whenever I try to provide sorely needed direction for our athletes and coaches. Not to mention his camping out in my office at all hours of the day, and he has the gall to talk about my role in creating tension in the A Building? While we are on the subject, I have seen this guy play, and lets just say, he would not be invited to the All Penobscot County basketball squad in backwoods Maine. In fact I could take four other guys from lumber camps and potato fields from Maine and clean his clock. You can quote me on that."

Burdett, who also serves as Assistant JV Coach with Cutchin states, "I'm in! Add me to the list as a player. I am ready to take on my former classmates." Burdett refused to comment on the ongoing verbal feud between the rival factions.

One can only wonder what the next twist will be in this hotly contested match.

Chris Schleier '06 Slam Dunk Contest draws New Competition
FoxSports Monday, Jan. 29: In a communication to his former Varsity Coach Richie Briggs, Chris Schleier issued his prediction for the much anticipated slam dunk challenge scheduled for half-time of the Alumni vs. Staff game. "Coach! This is #35, Chris Schleier. How's the team coming? I believe we out-number you guys by at least a two-to-one ratio. Do you practice at all? If you don't, I highly recommend that you do so. If not, I hope you all are ready to get DOMINATED on February 3. Also, tell Brian that he's gonna have to jump higher than what I've seen him jump if he wants to stand a chance against me in the dunk off. It's on!! It's gonna be a two event victory for the alumni of TCS!!!" 

Coach Briggs coolly responded to Schleier's taunts, "Believe me, Chris, you had better wish we were the ones with the two-to-one ratio in numbers. The fewer players we have, the more "PT" Brian and I get, and you know what that means: Total Domination! I will tell Brian, but I am also thinking of signing up for the dunk contest. Why, you ask? Because I think I can miss a dunk that looks more exciting than the misses you will make."

Odom had no comment on the growing war of words among the slam dunk contestants.

Alum Chris Schleier Challenges Brian Odom to Dunk Contest

FoxSports Thursday, January 11: This just in.... Negotiations have concluded and a time has been set for 6'7 alum Chris Schleier '06 to go one-on-one against Varsity Assistant Coach Brian Odom in the first TCS Slam Dunk Challenge during the 2007 Homecoming festivities.

Obviously wanting to keep Schleier's dunks to his team's advantage during the staff vs alumni game, Coach Cutchins issued this statement: "A dunk contest!?! What is this, the NBA All-Star Weekend? Actually, I think it would be great if your dunks would occur during the course of the game as you "lay down the law" on our staff rivals."

The contest is set for half-time of the Alumni vs. Staff Game. "The fans would find that interesting to watch while us 'old guys and girls' take a breather," Staff Player-Coach Briggs commented, obviously hoping that Schleier would tire and have less power in the critical second hald.

"Hey, I'm an old guy, too," Odom was heard to protest. "But I'm cool with that."


Cutchins Accepts Head Coaching Slot for Alumni Cougars Amidst Staff Controversy

UPI Wednesday, Nov. 21, Roswell, Georgia...In a stunning announcement, Cottage School Athletic Director/Junior Varsity Basketball Coach Lyle Cutchin announced his intention to assume coaching responsibilities for the Alumni Squad in this year's homecoming action against the TCS Staff.  Cutchin revealed that "dozens" of alumni approached him with the offer to take command of the alumni effort.  "Although the offer flattered me, and I looked forward to the opportunity to work closely with many of our former players again, it seemed almost treasonous for me to turn my back on my fellow staff." Apparently a serious rift within faculty ranks finally caused Cutchin to shift loyalties.  Under intense questioning at the press conference, Cutchin admitted that friction with History Department Head Allen McAdams and Varsity Coaches Kris Fix and Richie Briggs played a major role in the decision.  "Look, although I respect these gentlemen and their work, their constant criticism and back biting does take its toll." 

Cutchin assigned highest priority to recruitment for his team.  "Clearly, our alumni boast a number of skilled players and fine athletes.  What we need right now is a firm commitment from these 'young guns.' Given the right mix of players there is no doubt in my mind that the alumni will repeat their victory over the staff."

Under questioning about last season's controversial officiating, Cutchin dismissed the whole issue. "Ryan Burdett enjoys an unparalleled reputation for integrity.  No one has ever questioned his officiating until some 'sore losers' within staff ranks tried to make it an issue. Frankly, some elements in the staff are already bringing it up in an effort to alibi should the staff lose again. This only speaks to a deep level of depravity and desperation that will not deter the alumni one whit."

 2007 TCS Staff Team:
The Pirates